A Very Happy Christmas
by pinksnail
Summary: What if Happy's planning on using fireworks, but ends up with explosives, what if he asks Natsu to make his spicy chicken again. Lucy's mind was running wild with thoughts of Natsu in a suit describing how combustion works to chunks of fiery chicken spewed across council member's faces. "Levy-chan, I' going to offer to help Happy." Lucy declared "It could be a disaster otherwise!"
1. Chapter 1

**This is a story focusing on Happy and Lucy's friendship and the humour involved in it. I think they're the funniest pair in Fairy Tail.**

**I do not own Fair Tail.**

**With that out of the way, Enjoy!**

* * *

**A Very Happy Christmas**

Fairy Tail had many ancient traditions, like the journey they undertake to become an S-class Wizard, they must pass the exam before they are considered worthy, or once a year they would have a picnic at the Rainbow Sakura Tree and to treat any member of Fairy Tail like your own family. But one of the oldest and most sacred traditions is to have an amazing Christmas, organised by a different member of the guild each time. Every winter a member of Fairy Tail would be selected randomly to host that year's Christmas. They would be in charge of everything, from decoration to Secret Santa. And this year a certain fury, blue Exceed had been chosen.

"And this year's Christmas host will be..." Mira rummaged through the bag she was holding and pulled out a small, folded slip of paper. "Happy!" she announced, applauding the Exceed.

"Happy you're hosting Christmas!" Natsu exclaimed, patting his blue friend on the back.

"I hope you'll make this a Christmas to remember Happy! We're counting on you." Mira bubbled.

"Aye, sir!" He replied, saluting the bar maid "This will be the best Christmas Fairy Tail will ever see, I promise!" Everyone clapped at Happy's enthusiasm but secretly was hoping the Exceed wouldn't make a mess of things like the Christmas they had two years ago, nobody had ever forgotten that Christmas... It was a complete disaster.

**Later that evening...**

"So Happy got picked to host this year's Christmas..." Lucy stated to Levy. The two friends sat around a table on their own, everyone else had gone off to drink, celebrating the Christmas-to-be organised by the guild's lovable blue Exceed.

"Yup, I'm just hoping, this year won't be anything like the Calamity Christmas of X782."

"The Calamity Christmas of X782?" Lucy repeated, Lucy didn't know what Levy was talking about.

So the script mage explained "The Calamity Christmas of X782, was the worst Christmas Fairy Tail had ever faced. It was a catastrophe. It happened two years before you joined the guild. Nine years ago, but everyone who went to Tenrou Island is saying it was two years ago, they keep forgetting about the time jump. Anyway, I don't think Fairy Tail ever fully recovered from that..."

"It was that bad, huh?" Lucy asked. Levy mealy nodded in reply. "Who was the host?" Lucy whispered.

"Natsu."

"I should have known..." Lucy said "Calamity Christmas, what did he do that was so terrible? He can't have been that bad."

"Oh, Lu-chan." Levy sighed "You don't know the start of it..."

After a few minutes of storytelling Lucy gasped "No way! They vomited spicy chicken on a Council Member's head! Levy-chan, you have to be joking. You are joking right?"

"Sorry Lu-chan, this is actually what happened" she replied "and there's still more..."

Three minutes later...

"...and there was fire everywhere, the tree was on burning, the presents turned to ash and pretty soon the whole of Magnolia Town was alight..."

Five minutes later...

"Then Elfman, Jet and Warren were stood there completely naked. I had to go find them a bin bag to wear each since everyone else was still stuck underneath that drunken Vulcan. And I swear Lu-chan it was the most embarrassing moment of my life!" Levy exclaimed

"You poor thing!" Lucy sympathised.

"That still isn't the worst of it..."

And after another five more minutes of explaining Levy finally finished "Gray woke up from his coma three weeks later in hospital."

"Holy Mavis and that all started from her..."

"Yup, and to this day, if you ever look at Erza's left buttock you will see the tattoo of Gildarts' face there." Levy answered.

"Now I see why it's called the Calamity Christmas..." Lucy said, shaking her head "I knew Natsu could be destructive, but that's just..." She trailed off, incapable of finding words to describe the story she had just heard.

"So now you see why everyone's been going on about the Christmas two years ago." Levy said

"Yeah, I do." Lucy muttered. The Celestial wizard was deep in thought about how Happy spend so much time with Natsu, and he's bound to have rubbed off on the Exceed. Maybe the Dragon Slayer gives happy lessons on how to destroy stuff. What if Happy's planning on using fireworks, but ends up with explosives, what is he asks Natsu to make his spicy chicken again. Lucy's mind was running wild with thoughts of Natsu in a suit describing how combustion works to chunks of fiery chicken spewed across council member's faces. "Levy-chan, I' going to offer to help Happy." Lucy declared "It could be a disaster otherwise!"

"That may be best. He'll probably try to give this Christmas a fish theme." Levy said, pulling out a book to read.

"I hadn't even thought about that yet!" Lucy cried, running towards the bar, where Fairy Tail were drinking and singing to the little, blue cat.


	2. Chapter 2

**Today I don't have anything to get out of the way so, Enjoy!**

* * *

Almost every member of Fairy Tail had gathered around Happy, singing songs of their own composition, while the tipsy Exceed danced on top of the bar counter.

"He's blue

He's small

He's fury

Not tall

He has a liking for fish

And his favourite phrase, of the day is-"

"Aye Sir!" Happy finished the song, giggling and smiling at all the attention he was receiving. Or it could be the beer Cana gave him...

"One more time!" Gray yelled, completely drunk like the rest of Fairy Tail.

"Ohhhhhhhh, he's blue

He's small

He's fury

Not tall

He has a liking for fish

And his favourite phrase, of the day is

"AYE, SIR!" The guild shouted in unison.

Happy started to run around in circles squealing like a four year old "Again, again, again!" but unfortunately for Happy because of the alcohol in his system he ran face first into a wooden pillar.

"T-That was... a catchy song..." Lucy fake smiled at Happy who was currently lying half conscious across the bar top. He had a black eye and was drooling slightly. She cringed at the sight. "That's... really gross..." Lucy thought to herself, but she did feel sorry for the Exceed. She scooped him up into her arms and started to make her way out of the guild. When he woke up she was planning on offering her help with organising Christmas to him.

"Don't take Happy away..." Natsu groaned from under the bar. Yep, he was drunk to if you were wondering. "He's the life and soul of the party."

"He's unconscious Natsu." Lucy told the fire mage.

"What! No, pfft. He's just sleeping." Natsu stated

"He's out cold!" Lucy yelled, she was starting to get annoyed at Natsu, even though she knew her friend was drunk.

"He can just stay here and be our mascot then, he doesn't need to alive..." Hiccupped Macao

"He is alive!" Lucy screamed in frustration.

"Oh, so he is sleeping?" said Natsu

Lucy flashed a rude hand gesture in Natsu's way and turned on her heels, walking briskly away.

Just before exiting the guild Lucy heard a wail "Lucy, Help me!" It was Wendy. The young dragon slayer was sitting with Romeo on her lap, the fire mages eyes were unfocused and had vomit smeared over his face.

"Why the hell is Romeo on your lap, Wendy!" Lucy exclaimed, thinking that Wendy is much to young and innocent to be doing anything indecent with him.

"Well, Wakaba dared Romeo to drink some shots, he drunk them but he didn't look to well. So I went to get some water from Mira and when I came back he looked even worse. I sat down next to him, I was going to heal him you see and then..." Wendy cried "He sat on my lap. And he's been vomiting on me and mumbling about some... scary stuff..."

"I'll get you out, don't worry." Lucy said, setting the Exceed down on the table. She picked Romeo up and slung him over her shoulder, he was quite light. "Stay there Wendy, I'll be back in a minute."

Lucy marched back over to the bar carrying Romeo with her "Wakaba! Macao!" Lucy yelled, calling over the two. They sauntered over to her, arm linked together, and giggling like little girls.

"Don't you dare ever give Romeo shots again, Wakaba! Or any kind of alcohol for that matter. If you do you will be answering to me and my Lucy kick! And you!" Lucy snarled turning to Macao. "You, keep your friends under control. And most importantly take better care of you son," Lucy said thrusting the boy into Macao's arms "He was over there harassing poor Wendy. If I ever found either of you let something like this happen again, you'll be dead. Got it!" The two nodded the head quickly looking scared. Feeling proud of herself, for inspiring so much fear in the hearts of the drunkards, she walked back to Wendy with a smug smile on her face.

"I don't think Romeo will ever be drunk again now." Lucy said.

"Good." Wendy sighed out of relief.

"Wendy," Lucy said eyeing the girl's vomit stained clothes "Do you need some new clothes? You can come back to my house with me and Happy and-"

"Yes! Take me with you! It's much too scary here." Wendy begged

"Aright." Lucy smiled lifting up Happy once again.


End file.
